There is great variation among crossdressers concerning their awareness, commitment, and desire to accommodate the needs of the wife.
And even that kind of acknowledgement feeds the need for approval on some level, meaning that many crossdressers, even if they're attracted to women, have stories of agreeing to do something with a man online or in person that they wouldn't have otherwise done.
I love wearing skirts, pantyhose, and heels.
I have always told my partners, and only one rejected it altogether.
Dressing up is fun and exciting.